So, after a six month hiatus, I am back with my first blog post — in a long time. I am scared and nervous. Not that there are a ton of people dying for my blog posts, but because I feel like an absolute failure. In early November, my partner, Abby and I set out for the adventure we had been dreaming of for over a year. After three months in Louisville learning how to RV and getting our plan together to head out West, we made our way to Memphis for our first stop that was planned to last five days. The first three days I was sick and couldn’t get out of bed. On the fourth day I felt better, so I ventured out with Abby to a couple of spots she had found and to get supplies before we left. After spending the day getting what we needed, Abby took a hard fall in a Target parking lot. So hard we went straight to the ER. Her leg in pain, ankle ballooning, and face drenched in tears, we realized what this would mean for us having bad insurance and being in a state we do not live in. After scans, we found that Abby had torn or sprained her ankle, up the side of her shin, and shoulder. The ankle was a major concern since that was a sprain we had experienced once before at a wedding, five years ago. That incident led to months of recovery and thousands of dollars for Physical Therapy. Add the expense of visiting that horrible emergency room in Memphis, and we had to make a decision: press on and figure it out, or pack up and head home.
The next day, still recovering from being sick, I packed up and drove home to Columbus, Ohio. After 12 hours of hauling a 32 ft. trailer, we made it to my parents house. Abby injured, dogs with so much energy for spending 12 HOURS IN THE CAR, and me exhausted. Over the next several months, we moved into my in-laws. I started job searching. I found a great church that I thought would be a good fit. Yet, I discovered I wasn’t ready to step back into a church that would need help rebuilding a youth program when I still needed to rebuild my family. So, I started searching for a job to help pay the bills, AND chip away at the debt, instead. I found a job that I don’t love — but it's ok — with weird hours and the best money I have ever made. That’s not saying much considering I’ve been working in ministry since high school, but it’s all relative, right?
Since the injury and major decision to scrap the traveling dream, I have been struggling to get back to Branching Roads. Not because I don’t want to be doing it, but because I have never felt more defeated or embarrassed (truthfully I don’t know which one). About a year ago, I dreamt this wild dream to go around the country and meet with Youth Leaders, to share their stories while trying to provide care and support in any way possible, all while developing affordable curriculum. Present day, I’m back in Columbus, in my in-laws basement (for which I am beyond grateful, and it can be tough), and working a job that I tolerate. This is definitely not where I thought I would be. And yet, I have been learning, and some might even say growing. Abby and I are now, through the generosity of her parents, able to get back on our feet. We are working on selling the RV. We’ve managed now to trade in the truck to buy a fuel efficient SUV. I have been reading, listening to podcasts, and talking with so many wonderful people. I have been able to visit friends back in Indiana and reconnect with old friends in Columbus. My life may look different, I may still be grieving in some ways. But I am still standing, still breathing.
For the last six months, I have not been able to stop thinking about Branching Roads. About the difference I want to see in the lives of students and how important it is to support and provide enriching resources to the people that lead them. I feel more hopeful now that I am writing this update. I don’t have any new crazy insight, but I do have a renewed spirit. It’s still healing, but renewed. It is so crazy to think about everything that’s occurred in the last year. I told myself that it would be a life changing experience to start Branching Roads, but I never thought I would be here. It is wonderful and heart wrenching. Much to how ministry and life can be sometimes. And despite the heartache and head-spinning changes that have been made, the phrase that Abby and I have said over and over to each other these past six months has been, “I wouldn’t have done anything different.” It seems like a crazy thing to say considering how rough each transition has been that has brought us to this current situation, but living in an RV and doing some traveling is something I am so glad we got to do, even if it was only for four months.
Now, we get to be closer to family, get our finances together, and start to make a home base — something that I think is much wiser than traveling around the country (less fun, but makes more logistical sense). I am excited to see where all these Branching Roads lead. I am so ready to see what is next. After this season of Easter and listening to many different sermons and insights to the wonderful day of hope and life, I was reminded of something so simple and yet so core to our collective faith. God is a god of second chances; and not just second chances, but infinite chances. He is so gracious for letting us figure this out; not just our faith, but our life, too. In my personal season of feeling like Jonah, I am encouraged to remember that God is always making things new, giving second chances, and inviting us with open arms even when we might be a little grumpy that our plans didn’t work out. We (I) just have to lean in with vulnerability and faith.
Thank you to God, and thank you to our family and friends who have rallied around us and have been so gracious to us. I honestly don’t know where we would be without the people who love us most.
I am not sure what my posting schedule will be like moving forward, but I promise it won't be six months until I write another blog post. Plus, I am about half way through my first six week curriculum. So I hope to have it wrapped up and ready for people to use in their context before summer.
Comments